Maybe you’ve heard people say “hindsight is 20/20” or “I can see God’s will more clearly through the rearview mirror than the windshield”; well I can relate, can you? So often I don’t recognize God’s will for my life and His provision until I look back over the past. Isaiah 55:8-9 says,
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
So it shouldn’t be a surprise when things are clearer looking back.
These last few months have been filled with looking back for answers, asking myself, “What did I miss, Lord?” Things like the anniversary due date of the first of several miscarriages, fractured relationships where I now have closure, and the dates of hearing for the very first time of an autism diagnosis for two of my three children. How does that translate to God’s provision in my life?
God allowed all of this “suffering” in my life for one reason, to bring glory to His name. He uses our suffering for good and provides His prefect provision throughout. While I will never fully understand why we had to endure numerous miscarriages, I do know I have been able to walk alongside friends during their experience and suffering in a very real empathic way–strengthening my faith in knowing He does work everything for good. Friendships that were lost and broken with hopes of repair were my desires, not that of the Lord. These relationships will never be what I had in mind because expectations ruin relationships. Yes, there are relationships that are not meant to be part of His plan, but the wonderful, god-fearing precious friendships He has provided me with far surpass my desire for any others I thought I needed. My relationship with Christ has only grown stronger as a result of failed relationships with people here on earth. Then there is autism. The daily trenches of a very real and not always obvious disability. How in the world could having three children with autism be God’s perfect provision in my life? Having autism keeps me at the foot of the cross every day. It’s the reminder of His grace and mercy given to me time and time again. It’s a reminder that without Him, I can’t accomplish anything according to His will and for His glory.
God’s provision isn’t always in the form of a check in the mail or other monetary things we often associate with the word provision. We must look for and recognize His provision, His protection, His goodness and love every day and remember God doesn’t reveal His grand design, He reveals Himself. Do you trust Him to provide?
About the Writer:
Tamie is a stay at home wife and mommy of three kids with autism. She is a member of First Baptist Dallas and enjoys spending time hanging out at home with her family or a quiet dinner with girlfriends. Tamie is passionate about encouraging other woman in their daily walk with the Lord.
Tamie’s personal blog is about her journey rearing three kids with autism and the lessons the Lord is teaching her along the way.