The last straw. That silly, insignificant thing that sends you straight over the edge. It’s been a rough morning, after a rough week (or month). You are stretched thin, barely holding it all together and then one more thing happens and you break. And that’s where I found myself- at my breaking point.
I got my boys into class, found my way back to my car, and the flood gates opened. I was finally letting it all out. Every tear that streamed down my face represented a fight that I had lost in the last month, a moment where I had been defeated by life, another failure. I turned my car on and the music began to play. The songs flowed out of my radio… to my ears… to my heart. Each song seemed perfectly fitting for my situation- heartfelt songs, crying out to a savior for grace and mercy, a desperate call on the only One who knows every tear.
I thought I was doing fine on my own, things were not great, but they were not that bad either. Life was manageable, survivable… so I thought. “I’m strong. I can get through this.” I kept telling myself. Until I hit my breaking point. So, there I sat, in the school parking lot, broken, crying out to God, singing praises to the Lord through my tears, and questioning why. And then it hit me- to bring me back to God. I was trying to control my own life, my steps, my will. This breaking point was a not so gentle reminder that I needed to surrender my control to God. I have no control, I only thought I did.
The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9
Now I laugh, remembering what my son told me the other day, “Mom, my brain makes me think that I’m in charge of you, but I know you are in charge of me. My brain just tells me that I’m in charge sometimes.” He understands that I am in control of his life- to protect him, guide him, care for him. But he also recognizes the fight within his own head to take control of his life. Such wisdom from a 5-year-old.
I do the same thing with God. I tell him “I got this. I’m in charge. I’ll let you know when I need you.” When things are good in life, our minds deceive us into believing we can do this on our own- that we do not need God. Sometimes we must be broken in order to bring us back to the One who protects us, guides us, and cares for us. God is stronger and infinitely wiser. I have to seek Him daily and allow Him to be my God.
The Lord will fight for you; while you keep silent. Exodus 14:14
Consider each breaking point pure joy and cry out to the Lord, praising Him with songs.
About the Writer:
Meghan is a former art teacher who feels blessed to now be a stay-a-home mom to her two boys. She loves volunteering at her sons’ school and with the First Baptist Dallas Women’s Ministry and First Impressions Team. She is passionate about art, cooking, working out, and playing volleyball.